Too Bare To Bear

Women with fair skin are not meant to be bald. Trust me on this.

People have visibly winced or gasped when I've revealed this next little secret, but, honestly, I haven't looked at myself in the mirror with my head uncovered for about five weeks. "How do you tie on your bandanna?" they ask. No problem. I wrap it around my head, off-frame. Then, with my scalp safely hidden, I step in front of the mirror to make final adjustments. This regimen has worked fine. Really.

After three rounds of chemo, one doesn't need a visual confirmation to know what lies beneath the scarf. My head undoubtedly resembled the noggin of a much abused rag doll, the kind with the patchy coiffure. So, on Sunday, when no other clients or staff were in the salon, I had Jay, the ever-dependable hairdresser, take a shaver to the loose strands. Mind you, I made him swivel the chair 180 degrees, so that my back faced the mirror for this operation.

Then this morning, I got up my gumption and peeked at my reflection. Let me say that I was right before. Some images are best left to the imagination, and scalps that have never seen the sun have no business being exposed. With my final chemo cycle scheduled for the last week of March, I'm hoping that I can achieve a fine covering of fuzz by mid-May. Just in time for summer.

The good news is that, except for a diminished energy level, I haven't felt that bad. I do admit to having a little trouble in the kitchen, however. Chemo has caused my taste buds to go off kilter, particularly in the salty ranges. But I enjoy cooking so much that I haven't stopped. My husband and son, who are always grateful for whatever food I prepare, have assured me that my meals are still up to par, even if nothing tastes quite right to me.

Thankfully, the end of this chemo trip is starting to come into focus, and it couldn't arrive too soon. By the middle of next week, when I undergo my last treatment, I'll only have to sustain the final three-week recovery period. Knowing that the debilitating drugs are behind me, those days will most assuredly zoom by.