Sons And Daughters

You think that I seek out articles about breast cancer patients, but I don't. I stumble over them by chance, and they trip me up, like so many treacherous cracks in the sidewalk. Just last Sunday, the essay on the last page of the New York Times Magazine, which I almost always read, was from a woman whose mother had recently undergone a mastectomy. The essay told about a shopping trip she and her mother took to buy a prosthesis and new bras, and tackled the daughter's uneasiness about her mother's health problems.

Later that day, I picked up the Los Angeles Times Book Review, which is not usually a cancer-story minefield, and I absentmindedly opened it to a review of a memoir by Susan Sontag's son, David Rieff. He has written a grief-stricken account of his famous mother's final cancer struggle, which began years earlier with a breast cancer diagnosis. After already digesting the essay about the shopping trip, I spared myself and quickly turned to the lists of best sellers. Apparently Eat, Pray, Love is still doing well, and mystery writer Sue Grafton is topping the fiction list with T is for Trespass. (I'm taking bets on when Grafton will finally run out of alphabet. My money is on March 2010.)

Seriously, what struck me about these pieces was that both the essay and the book on Sontag were written by the children of breast cancer patients. And this led me to clarify my thinking on the question that my friend, Rohman, raised in a blog comment -- What was my view of John Edwards's presidential run, given that Elizabeth Edwards's breast cancer has recurred and metastasized?

My short answer is that the question of Edwards's candidacy is not simply about whether he is a dutiful and supportive husband. Like most couples who've been married for a long time, the Edwardses seem to have worked it out. They both obviously love politics and are committed to public service. So, just like the union of Hillary and Bill, the Edwards' marriage is none of my business.

Delving just a little deeper, though, the question evolves into this one: Given the demands of the job, can Mr. Edwards be a first-rate President, if he's distracted by his wife's illness? While that's a tougher call, world leaders, like everyone else, have to cope with the ordeals of their loved ones. So, if Mr. Edwards commits to being our national leader, I'll take him at his word that he can handle it, even if his wife becomes more gravely ill.

But that's still not the end of it. I know that my persistent side is showing here, but I'm compelled to peel back yet another layer of the question. This is where I ended up: What is the impact of all of this on the Edwards' young family? Long after the age when most women have stopped having babies, Mrs. Edwards decided to have two more children. In addition to a grown daughter, they have Jack and Emma Claire, who are both under age 10. At the risk of alienating the Edwards supporters among you, here is where the question got sticky. In my mind, John and Elizabeth Edwards have a commitment to their young children that goes beyond their commitment to each other, or their commitment to the White House. In the event that Mrs. Edwards takes a turn for the worse, can Mr. Edwards be fully available to his kids while also being fully available to us as President of the United States?

You can argue that other presidential contenders, both past and present, have had young children, Barack Obama among them. But I'm not aware of any of them knowingly pursuing the White House while their spouse confronted a serious cancer issue. John Edwards doesn't want to be president of a university; he wants to be President of the United States. It's not a job that one can walk away from, or one that will allow him to take a leave of absence. Does the Family Medical Leave Act even apply to elected officials?

As the articles written by the anxious daughter and the grieving son both spell out, even when we're grown, our parents' illnesses throw us. Given all the health issues they face, and the pressures those issues would place on any family, maybe the Edwardses should skip the White House run and settle for a public service role that's not quite so demanding. After all, the current resident of the White House has always preferred Crawford to the Beltway. This time, we need a leader, who, no matter what happens, will be fully engaged and ready to tackle the hard work at hand.

(Upcoming blog: I have an appointment with the oncologist on Wednesday to go over the results of the Oncotype Dx, which are expected on Monday. Stay tuned.)